Nov 14, 2009

Cool Little Gadget

I have an(other) unhealthy relationship in my life: my label maker. It's a new relationship - we only just met - but it's already obvious we were meant to be together forever. This is the real thing - the one.

We went to my office to tackle the neglected business on my desk. It might be important to explain here why there is neglected business on my desk. I don't want to deal with it.

So here's what we did: We made labels for folders so I can dispose of these papers forever. We assured a guilt-free future of non-productivity, and we felt very productive doing it (I might've been humming). Furthermore, it was aesthetically pleasing - all official and tidy on its way to the purgatory of my file cabinet.

Deception is a vital component in achieving satisfaction in an endeavor such as this. If I acknowledged what I was really doing (nothing) I would have cheated myself of the satisfaction one enjoys when an unpleasant task is completed. You must be equal parts dishonest and gullible if you are going to be lazy without guilt. I am a master, and flexible. My methodology can handily be applied to most situations, and in a moment's notice. Carpe Lazem.

Some other variations/applications of this methodology (dishonesty) which have served me well.

* If it is 50% off you can by two. If it is 10% off it is on sale (and you can buy two)

* Lists are enormously helpful to stay on task - don't make them.

* If it has half the calories you can eat twice as much.

* Lack of preparation is the key to flexibility.

Fear not. Indulgence is easily justifiable.
I am pleased to be hosting the first meeting of Procrastinators Anonymous - date to be announced.


  1. That's brilliant! Occupo dies existo ignavus is my new motto - Sieze the Day; Be Lazy.

  2. I love it Paige you are my hero!

  3. Have we all procrastinated to the point of a year + a half to comment?

    I think we are learning well from the master.

  4. Am thinking of joining Procrastinators Anonymous but haven't gotten around to it yet. Are there any expiration dates to joining that I can deliberately sail past?

    - The Master Procrastinator

    Never put off till tomorrow what you can do today. Put it off forever …