Nov 17, 2009

Noctivagus

She stood frozen in the ring of lamp light, heart pounding, looking into the darkness.

Something malevolent watched. Hatred swamped her, surrounding her so completely it masked the direction of its origin. Somewhere out there in the darkness, veiled by the shadows, it stalked her. Assessing her coldly, contemptuous of its prey.

The thought lingered that it wasn't too late to return to the safety of the house, but the house was only a temporary refuge. Sooner or later she would have to venture into the night. It knew this and waited. It had time on its side, and she did not. Still, her hand clutched the knob, locked rigidly in place by her terror.

The night aligned itself with the the monster. The wind picked up, masking the noise of the unnatural with the sounds of nature. The moonlight and clouds played tricks on her, moving shadows before she could tell if they held any substance.

Anger replaced fear. It was time to even the odds. The surge of rebellious anger propelled her hand from the doorknob to the knife handle on her hip, and she stepped from the porch.




to be continued......


Nov 14, 2009

Cool Little Gadget

I have an(other) unhealthy relationship in my life: my label maker. It's a new relationship - we only just met - but it's already obvious we were meant to be together forever. This is the real thing - the one.

We went to my office to tackle the neglected business on my desk. It might be important to explain here why there is neglected business on my desk. I don't want to deal with it.

So here's what we did: We made labels for folders so I can dispose of these papers forever. We assured a guilt-free future of non-productivity, and we felt very productive doing it (I might've been humming). Furthermore, it was aesthetically pleasing - all official and tidy on its way to the purgatory of my file cabinet.

Deception is a vital component in achieving satisfaction in an endeavor such as this. If I acknowledged what I was really doing (nothing) I would have cheated myself of the satisfaction one enjoys when an unpleasant task is completed. You must be equal parts dishonest and gullible if you are going to be lazy without guilt. I am a master, and flexible. My methodology can handily be applied to most situations, and in a moment's notice. Carpe Lazem.

Some other variations/applications of this methodology (dishonesty) which have served me well.


* If it is 50% off you can by two. If it is 10% off it is on sale (and you can buy two)

* Lists are enormously helpful to stay on task - don't make them.

* If it has half the calories you can eat twice as much.

* Lack of preparation is the key to flexibility.


Fear not. Indulgence is easily justifiable.
I am pleased to be hosting the first meeting of Procrastinators Anonymous - date to be announced.


Nov 11, 2009

It's 10:00 p.m. - Do You Know Where Your Author Is?

I am happy to support and promote the first-ever She Writes Day of Action this Friday, November 13th.

This day of action was inspired by the exclusion of women (yep - read zero) from Publishers Weekly's Best Books of 2009 list. I am urging every member of our community to buy a book published by a woman in 2009. Buy it. Read it. Celebrate it.

More information on this campaign is available at http://www.shewrites.com/

She Writes * She Tours * She Reads * She Markets * She Promotes * She Posts * She Coaches * She Networks * She Invents * She Creates * She Obsesses * She Sells * She Signs * She Strives * She Needs Help * (sw)

addendum - more of the same foolishness:

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/11/12/business/media/12women.html?_r=1&ref=today

I am buying 10 books today to support this day of action.

Nov 5, 2009

The Maine Literary Festival

And the anticipation builds....

Last year I spent an evening out in the cold with my nose pressed to the glass. This year I will be attending, and I am so excited I can’t even write. The irony is not lost on me.

I recently completed my first young adult manuscript. Writing it was much more fun than thinking about what to do with once it was completed. I had to screw up the courage to tell someone. Fortunately, that someone was a past MLF attendee, and knew just what to do.

She recognized the symptoms immediately: lack of sunlight, too much coffee, interrupted sleep patterns, and periods of elation and panic: Post Traumatic Manuscript Disorder. Confident in her diagnosis, she drafted and implemented a treatment plan. As I was in a weakened condition, she immediately organized a rejuvenating elixir. She invited me to a Writer’s Block Party at her home. We gathered around her rugged iron garden table which was substantial enough to support all of the baggage a writer drags around – swirling thoughts, concerns, doubts, stumbling blocks – and talked. It was a delightful evening sharing ideas, and support and encouragement, and I left with a fresh eye and new purpose.

But she was not done. The block party was where she handed me the prescription with the best prognosis for my ailment. The Festival and Workshop. After meeting and speaking with past attendees, all of whom were eagerly anticipating this year’s exciting programs, I concurred and scheduled my appointment.

We are fortunate to have this opportunity in Camden, and I am so pleased to be attending this year. I look forward to seeing those I met at the Block Party, and meeting new friends and professionals as well. I am happy to report that my condition continues to improve.