Jul 2, 2012

A Question Meme from All the Blue-Eyed Angels Heroine Erin Solomon.







Jen Blood is author of the Amazon bestselling mystery All the Blue-Eyed Angels, the sequel of which will be released this week!! She is a social media and online marketing strategist for Gauss Media, and runs the popular mystery website, http://bloodwrites.com/. All the Blue-Eyed Angels will be Free! on July 3rd and 4th, in celebration of the release of the second book in the series, Sins of the Father. Be sure to download your copy!

From Jen:   
     In my Erin Solomon mysteries, Erin is a tough investigative journalist who will do just about anything to get answers to the one mystery that has plagued her most of her life: What happened to the Payson Church of Tomorrow, the fundamentalist church she was raised in for the first nine years of her life, until the entire congregation—with the exception of Erin and her father—was killed in a fatal fire in 1990. She tackles that question head-on in the first novel in the series, All the Blue-Eyed Angels, and then continues her quest to learn more about her father’s shadowy history in the second book in the series, Sins of the Father.
      For this month’s blog tour, however, I wanted to look at the lighter side of Erin Solomon. Because there is one, believe it or not. Fans will tell you she’s really pretty funny—even when she’s facing death and destruction—and one of the things I love best about her is just how rooted in pop culture she is. So, what better way to demonstrate that than with a series of question memes Erin and her cohorts will be answering all month long? Here, then, is the first meme from Erin. 



To: diggs@downeastdailytribune.com, jjuarez@dc.fbi.gov

Subject: Vital research info

Meme!

So, something you may not know about me, Juarez, is my deep and abiding love for question memes—those viral Q&As you see all over the worldwide web. Diggs has come to accept this about me… If you want to stick around in any capacity at all, you’ll have to do the same, my friend. I have a couple of rules with them (mostly for Diggs, who really sucked at this whole thing when we first started):

  1. Witty/smartass responses are acceptable, but you still have to answer the question. No passes allowed.
  2. No bitching about what a waste of time they are. Everybody knows they’re a waste of time. That’s why we love them.
  3. Lies are strictly prohibited.
 So, with all that in mind… Here’s the latest meme I found, with my answers to get the ball rolling. Feel free to forward to whomever you please. Talk to you soon, fellas! 

  1. How old do you look?
    Exactly as old as I am.
  2. Where do you live?
    At the moment? Taking care of my mother’s place in Portland, ME
  3. Are you waiting for something?
    I’m always waiting for something.
  4. What’s one pet peeve of yours that is not common?
    That sixty seconds you have to wait between taking the ice cream out of the freezer and the point at which it’s melty enough to eat.
  5. Do you want/have kids?
    I have a dog. He’s plenty, thanks.
  6. Have you ever thought about converting your religion?
    Buddhism always seems like a nice idea. Everybody’s so calm—they’d probably kick me out within a week.
  7. Last shocking news you heard?
    “We think your dad was a serial killer.” That was pretty shocking.
  8. What was the last thing you drank?
    Coffee. Last, first, and in between.
  9. Who do you most look like in your family?
    My mother. Or so I’m told—I don’t see it, personally. (shut up, Diggs)
  10. If you could have something right now, anything, what would it be?
    Aside from world peace or a night with Clooney? Figuring out what happened to my dad would be pretty good.
  11. Where does most of your family live?
    Mother: Maine. Father: ? Grandfather: Maine. Everyone else: ?
  12. Where did you grow up?
    Littlehope. The name says it all.
  13. Where do you want to go on vacation?
    Back to Italy, I think. Juarez, get on that, would you?
  14. Have you ever had a panic attack?
    Diggs? You wanna field that one?
  15. What can’t you wait for?
    The question is, What can I wait for? I’m not the most patient person on the planet.
  16. Who is the last person you told you love them and meant it?
    Einstein. And I always mean it. J
  17. Have your parents ever smoked pot?
    No idea. Kat—Probably not. Booze was always her drug of choice. Dad? I would have said no way a few months ago. Now? No clue.
  18. Want someone back in your life?
    Dad.
  19. What do you order at the bar?
    Whatever I damn well please.
  20. When was the last time you cried really, really hard?
    Littlehope’s mental meltdown comes to mind.
  21. Ever licked someone’s cheek?
    Who hasn’t?
  22. What is your favorite thing to eat with peanut butter?
    Ice cream.
  23. Where were you on July 4th, 2008?
    Gawd. 2008? Was that the year of that awful patriot’s cruise in Boston Harbor, Diggs? Your ex, my ex, a boatload of tequila… Where’s a good blackout when you really need one?
  24. What are your nicknames?
    Sol, Solomon
  25. If you could go back in time, how far back would you go?
    The ‘20s. Dorothy Parker, the Round Table, all the best clothes… Definitely the ‘20s.

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Jun 19, 2012

We Need a Cartographer






Thinking about a map to include in the beginning of 
The Keeper and the Rune Stone,
Book I of The Black Ledge Series.  

Great fun, but as you can see, we need a cartographer.  

Jun 6, 2012

Interview of Jen Blood, Author of the Erin Solomon Mystery Series




 Jen Blood is a freelance writer and editor, Social Media Strategist at Gauss Media, and author of the mystery ALL THE BLUE-EYED ANGELS, the first novel in the Erin Solomon series. The second novel in this page-turner series will be out at the end of June. I can hardly wait.  

All the Blue-Eyed Angels is Free this Wednesday and Thursday. 
 Do yourself a favor and download this page-turner!  


Your book is set on the coast of Maine, and an island in Penobscot Bay. Have you lived on an island in the Bay?

I worked for Outward Bound for a long time, so I spent tons of time on Hurricane Island and have wonderful memories of my time out there. For those who don't know, Hurricane is an island about ten miles off the Rockland/Thomaston coast, and for years it was the go-to site for all things Outward Bound around here. I also spent some time out on Monhegan and Vinalhaven, and lived for a year out on Peak's Island. In ALL THE BLUE-EYED ANGELS, Payson Isle is kind of an amalgamation of a few islands locally: Friendship Long Island, Hurricane, and Monhegan chief among them.

I love the insular feel of island living, how genuinely weird islanders are -- it seems to be a prerequisite that you have to be a little off kilter to choose living somewhere one can only access by boat -- and of course I love being surrounded by the ocean. It's a good way of life, all things considered.

How many books do you plan with Erin Solomon and Stein?

I have eight books planned in the Erin Solomon "arc," following the story of Erin's quest to learn the truth about her father and to put the final pieces together about the deaths out on Payson Isle. I also have at least one Diggs & Solomon novella planned outside that arc -- a noir prequel told from Diggs' perspective that takes place the first summer he and Erin "hooked up," in the course of their complicated history.

Erin chases truth for fun. What does Jen do for fun?

I write about Erin chasing the truth! What could be more fun than that?! J When I'm not writing, though, I love the outdoors and can usually be found hiking or biking with my dogs. I have a big geek streak, and get far too invested in my favorite TV shows (I'm so not that girl with no TV -- I always admire those people, but I'm just not one of them). I also run a website for mystery/thriller readers and writers (http://bloodwrites.com/), so I read a lot within the genre and review books for my site and for Awesome Indies. All things considered, it's a pretty fun life. Busy, true, but I have no complaints.

What inspired this mystery?

It started with the character of Erin Solomon -- though she was initially Anna Solomon, until I found out there's a fairly well established author by that name. I was listening to singer/songwriter Ellis Paul's album "Translucent Soul" obsessively at the time, which he wrote while he was going through a divorce. It's a very introspective, melancholy album, and suddenly Erin started whispering in my ear. At the same time, I was reading Laurie King's A DARKER PLACE, about a theologian whose husband and daughter are killed in a cult suicide. From there everything just kind of gelled and suddenly (ten years later) I had ALL THE BLUE-EYED ANGELS.

Your beginnings in writing? Honing your craft?

My mom saved the first story I ever wrote (actually, I dictated it to her), which goes like this:
Once there was a girl named Jenny May. She had my blue eyes and my blonde hair and my tuna fish sandwich.

I was three at the time. My mom was convinced I was a genius, of course; I blame my obsession with the written word for the next thirty-five years on my parents' unbridled enthusiasm when I was a tot. I was super shy in elementary school, and definitely lived vicariously through my characters when I was younger. I didn't write as much in high school because I started doing theatre and really came out of my shell at that point, but at the end of the day always found myself coming back to my notebook to write down my thoughts. I find it hard to really figure out how I feel about anything if I don't have a little time to set it down on the page and sit with it for a while.

So...I picked up writing again after high school, then went to Goddard College and got my BA in Liberal Arts as a Creative Writing major, and went on to the University of Southern Maine to earn my MFA in Creative Writing/Popular Fiction. As for honing the craft, I think that's an ongoing process -- grad school really helped, because I had an opportunity to workshop with some phenomenal authors. I'm gonna strut my geek cred a little more here by saying that, in all honesty, a lot of what I learned about putting a story together came by writing fanfiction, which I still do whenever I find the time (though that’s honestly pretty rare at this point). It’s a great opportunity to play around with structure, figure out my own rhythm, and learn a little about producing content on (largely self-imposed) deadlines.

I also have an AWESOME writing group filled with some phenomenal writers who are very generous about giving honest feedback. At the end of the day, though, I think honing the craft is all about writing as much as possible and then forcing your work on whatever poor souls will read it and provide some insight until you're ready to actually start selling your stuff.

The marionettes are a fabulous macabre detail - what inspired them?


I love the marionettes, they just give me chills every time I think of them! I was initially pulled into the idea when I saw these dolls made by the Amish when I was living in Kentucky. They were beautifully made, but there was still a certain creep factor – mostly because dolls always kind of give me the creeps. I did some research and found that a number of communes and smaller religious groups rely on custom-made crafts as a source of income, so from there I started thinking about how the Paysons would make their living. I did a little more research and found this fabulously macabre angel marionette online, and that was it – from that point on, I had my image. At some point I want to actually do some kind of mock magazine cover featuring one of those actual marionettes – charred, of course. Hmm. That’s not weird, right? 


You might be asking the wrong person, Jen.  Thank you so much for sharing this with us.  I can't wait for Book Two to be released!


Jen’s website: http://bloodwrites.com/
Erin Solomon website: http://erinsolomon.com/

ALL THE BLUE-EYED ANGELS on Amazon:  HERE

(Regularly $2.99 – FREE Wednesday and Thursday)  




May 24, 2012

Excerpt, UnattendeAd





Excerpt, Unattendead:



     “WHO ran over my ROSE BUSH?” Mrs. Eikenbury’s voice thundered up the stairs.
      Dell looked at Miles.“Uh-oh.”
      Miles grinned. “She has a big voice for such a small woman.” Then added, “It’s all about projection.”
      Dell went out to the landing and called down to her mother, “Someone looking for Dad. I think it has to do with the body in the carriage house.”
     “There’s a body in the carriage house?” Mrs. Eikenbury asked, calmer. Everyone in the family knew what that meant.
     “Yep. Dad should be home soon. He had a removal at Endaline, but he didn’t think he’d be long.” 
     “Alright. I’m going to start dinner. Damn. I loved that rose bush. This was its best year yet. It isn’t easy getting Rosa Wandering Jew established.”


May 4, 2012

An Interview with Vernon Baker, Dreams and Beaujolais

       

     When I learned of Vernon Baker's plans to release his second book, The Arimathean, I began pestering him for an interview. I wanted a hint of what might be coming as it had been almost ten months since the release of Slow Boat to Purgatory, the first book in the series. He returned to Maine after spending the winter in Florida, and I finally pinned him down. He sent me an e-mail stating Saturday would be good for him if I was available.
I was.
Saturday was the sort of day you don't waste if you live on the Maine coast. Chilly, but starkly gorgeous. A perfect day to head up the coast of Penobscot Bay to Belfast.
I turned off Route One and followed a narrow road along the shore for a few miles. His directions led to a winding gravel road which made its way down toward the water. I rounded a bend and his home came into view. Though I'd never visited the house, something, a disconnected and fleeting memory, nagged. The place seemed familiar, though I had never been here before.
I parked, and walked toward the house. Just as I stepped onto the porch I looked out over the water, and it hit me. This was just like Randolph Donovan's home as Vernon had described in Slow Boat to Purgatory. The gravel drive. The house. The view down the Bay. Easy to see where he drew his inspiration.
A note was taped to the door. It read:
     
Come in.  
I needed something from the boat.  
Make yourself comfortable in the library. 
I will join you shortly. 


        I peeked through the wavy glass beside the door and knocked, anyway.  No answer. I opened the door and entered a foyer, dimly lit by streaks of sun from large windows and French doors on the opposite side of the house. It was quiet. Where were his wife and kids? To my right a doorway revealed the dining room. On my left a hall led deeper into the house. Hoping it led to the library, I headed down the shadowy corridor. A worn oriental runner in soft, rich colors muffled my footfalls. I poked my head in a few open doors, and tried one closed one. A set of stairs descended to darkness. I closed it quickly and passed by the other closed doors. Finally, on my right, I came upon a tall set of doors, the type that slide into the walls. They were cracked just enough for me to slide through.
I did, but stopped when I turned and faced the room. Shelves of books, there had to be thousands, covered the walls. The rows of books stretched upward from the floor to a ceiling at least twenty feet in height. Many of the books were old, the leather covers cracked and colored by age. Déjà Vu again caressed the furthest reaches of my mind, and my eyes moved to a certain section of the shelving. Placed beside it, as if on purpose, the rolling library ladder beckoned. Before I realized what I was doing I moved to the ladder and climbed. Both hands gripped the stringers as I scanned the book titles, searching, searching ... and then they fell on the one I sought. I'm not sure I breathed for several moments while I stood staring at the leather spine of Lolita, by Nabokov. 
Could it be? Was this actually the book that hid the secret space, hidden within the old walls of the library, Vernon had written about?
I closed my eyes. This was silly. I was here to interview my friend and fellow writer. Of course he drew his inspiration from his surroundings. I laughed at the ridiculous notion that came unbidden, the feeling I had fallen into some crack in reality and was floating through the pages of his book.
I climbed back down the ladder. 
Still, it was hard to turn my back without knowing what was hidden behind the Nabakov. The empty space I was sure was there seemed to call to me.
I turned myself from it, and noticed, for the first time, a large wooden desk positioned before a set of windows partially obscured by heavy curtains. Stacks of paper, multi-colored folders, what looked like the printed pages of a manuscript, neatly arranged across the desk top, sat alongside an antique letter opener and a small magnifying glass. An ornate ashtray inlaid with mother of pearl sat along the right edge of the desk, an unlit but half-finished cigar balanced along its edge. The image of Vernon with his cigar made me smile, and then I noticed the two large crystal wine glasses, both half-full of a dark, ruby-red liquid, and my smile grew. He wouldn’t be long.
I stepped toward the window to see if he was on his way up, and froze. 
Someone sat in the large wingback chair facing the desk.
The back of the chair faced me but I could clearly see the top of a man’s head, his hair a golden brown, and his left hand resting on the arm of the old wingback.
Welts and scars crisscrossed the hand, and a dark silver ring adorned the man’s wedding finger. It covered the entire length of his finger from the knuckle to the hand. Along the top of the ring was a white stone of some kind, and set into that stone was a luminescent cross, a red cross.
The hand rose from the arm of the chair and gestured. The man wanted me to sit behind Vernon’s desk.
Slowly, I moved toward the desk, never taking my eyes from the wingback. The man’s legs came into view. A pair of boots made of worn brown leather, which reached his knees, were evenly spaced on the floor. As I moved closer I saw a large floppy hat on his lap, and when I reached the edge of the desk I was able to see the side of his face.
He faced the window, not me, and sunlight fell on the strong lines of his jaw, his cheek, and forehead. Long flowing hair fell below his shoulders, and softened the planes of his profile.  
I reached for the edge of the desk and gripped the cool wood, reassuring myself that it, this room, and the man sitting in the chair, existed.
No sooner had that thought occurred when the man turned to me. “Hello, Paige.”
Sweet Jesus. He did exist. 
His eyes bored into me, dark pools of mesmerizing intensity. It was as if I were falling into them. I resisted the urge to move closer, to peer deeper. They beckoned as if doorways to secrets and places I desperately wanted to pursue. It unnerved me.
Until he smiled. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, finally. Have a seat behind the desk. We have much to talk about.”
I kept my eyes on him as I moved to the chair, a simple wooden swivel office chair, and sat. Using my notepad as an excuse, I placed it in front of me and pulled myself from his gaze. I pretended to study the list of questions for a moment, but my composure was blown. When I looked up, the man's bemused smile revealed he knew it, too. 
"Vernon has been called away for a bit. A mutual friend of ours had some stories that needed telling. I told Vernon I would stand in for him. Besides...he said you’ve been dying to meet me.”
I pinched myself in the upper leg. 
He laughed then, a melodic rumbling that started somewhere deep within him and echoed off the walls of books. It was the most beautiful laugh I’d ever heard. It pulled me from my wonderment and I smiled.
“That’s better. Now, you came to do an interview, to hear what Vernon has up his sleeve, to talk about The Arimathean. I believe I can help you with that.”
I took a deep breath, flipped over my page of notes to a fresh blank page and began.
“Who are you?”
Again, he laughed. “Really, Paige? I think you know the answer to that, but I’ll play along. My name is Arnaud Tousseau. At least that is the name I’ve used for the last seventy years. My real name, the name I was born with many years ago, is Gaspar de Rouse.”
At the sound of that name I accepted that I had, in fact, crossed over a plane of mortal existence and entered a world beyond my understanding. Either that, or I was fast asleep in my bed dreaming the most vivid and life like vision of my life.
“Or perhaps, a combination of both,” he said.
“You’re reading my mind.” How could this be a dream?
“Of course I’m reading your mind, and perhaps you are dreaming. Would that make this any less real? What do you actually know of dreams? Do you know what they are and can be, who uses them as portals into the minds of men?”
He stood. He was tall, the long jacket he wore almost touched the floor. He reached across the table and pushed one of the wine glasses toward me, lifted the other, and gently touched the glasses together. The haunting peal of tiny crystal bells floated away across the room.
“Here’s to dreams, and the beings who inhabit them.”
He took a drink, gave me a wink, and sat again.
“I have so many things I want to ask you. I don’t know where to start. I wasn’t prepared. For you.”
“Ask me about wine.”
“Wine?”
“Yes. You love wine. We have that in common although I think your love of Beaujolais could be better placed.”
I smiled. Vernon hates Beaujolais and had teased me about it on more than one occasion.
“But it isn’t really the Beaujolais you love, is it?” he mused, studying me.
No, it wasn’t. Savvy. Crafty, too. I’d have to work to get answers to my questions. “What’s your favorite wine?”
“Syrah. Old French Syrah, the kind they make in southern France. It is imbued with the centuries of men, winemakers and farmers, who have worked and trod that stony ground even longer than I have lived. There is one in particular I have an affinity for. It comes from a small vineyard hidden away from the eyes of most mortals.”
“What’s it called?”
“Domaine Templier.”
“Domaine Templar.”
“That’s right.”
“You were a Templar.”
“I am a Templar, Paige. I will be a Templar until the day I die. There are those who walk the earth today who claim that mantle. They have no idea what it means to take up the cross, to give your life to it.”
“You’re referring to Dominicus and the organization he belongs to, aren’t you?”
“Yes, The Order of The Broken Cross, as they call themselves. They profess to be the rightful heirs to the lineage of the Templars and while those who begat their coven were indeed Templars, they were traitors...as is Dominicus.”
“So you’re the last of the real Templars?”
“Perhaps.”
“What does that mean, perhaps?”
“It means that while you are asking the questions it is I who is giving the answers, some of which will not be forthcoming. Next question.”
Something in the cast of his eyes, the sudden lack of a smile, steered my questions in another direction.
“How old are you?”
“I’m seven-hundred and fifty-six years old.”
I stared at him for a moment trying to prod my mind into acceptance of what this all meant and what to say to him.
“What’s the greatest thing you’ve witnessed in all your years?”
He thought for a moment, spun the glass, lost, it seemed, in the swirling liquid. “Mankind. I’ve seen them achieve so many great things, create such amazing civilizations. I’ve watched in wonder as artists, scientists, inventors have transformed the lives of men. Even now I can scarcely believe how the world has changed.”
“You say Mankind, as if you are no longer a part of it.”
“I’m still a man, Paige. I never stopped being a man. I simply no longer live my life as a man. I live it as if I am some sort of extraterrestrial being walking unseen and unnoticed, for the most part, among beings who look like me.”
Something had crept into his voice, a shadow had fallen across his face. I realized it was loneliness.
“What is the worst thing you’ve seen in all these years?”
There was another long drawn out pause before he answered. “How little the souls of humans have changed. For all the advancements around us mankind remains what it has always been, fierce, warlike, and destructive of each other. I’m never surprised by the savagery of men. As a warrior myself I understand it. It is part of us just as it is part of those we call angels. They exist in a state of perpetual war...why not us?”
He drank from the glass again and looked me in the eye. “Try some of the wine, Paige, and then lighten up a bit. Ask me something fun.”
I sipped the wine. It really was wonderful. Fun. Hmm. “Vernon’s hinted in the book that you’ve had a, how should I say this? Someone special in your life--I mean, you’re seven hundred years old, but you're a man....” 
I made a mess of the question, which elicited another of his addicting chuckles. “I don’t want to spoil Vernon’s stories so I will only agree with your statement, I am a man.”
My cheeks burned. I tried to salvage it. “I mean, love, in general. Not just romantic love, but people you have loved, and...”
“Lost. Yes.”
“Tell me,” I leaned forward. “About love. And loss. Please.”
“It’s a burden. And it’s liberating.”
“Will you tell me about the burden you bear?”
“Mortal moments are fleeting. One lifetime is often not enough to move beyond our own imposed boundaries and know true love.” He smiled. “Being immortal frees me to love in ways... in a way that can't quite be understood these days. To love a man in friendship, deeply and unconditionally. And accept his. To love a woman until your souls shatter. I would not have known those loves in one lifetime. Loss teaches us to love. To not waste time. The curse of loss is the most inspiring teacher.” He smiled, sadly, and then continued on in a mischievous tone.  I do have a few, shall we say, guilty pleasures that ease my burdens. I have a weakness for beauty. I drive an Aston Martin. I collect art of the old Masters, and new ones. I love great wine.” He raised his glass, tipped it to me, and drank the rest in one swallow.
My eyes were drawn back to his hand as he held the glass to his lips. The ring flashed in a ray of sunlight and the red stone, fashioned into a cross, dazzled my eyes as a wave of warm invasive light enveloped my mind.
I began to panic for a moment as I realized that the room, the man seated before me, even the chair upon which I had been sitting only a moment ago were all gone and that I was floating somewhere disconnected from reality.
I felt the sudden urge to cry out when I once more heard his voice, Gaspar’s.
“It’s okay, Paige. Our time together is over, for now. We’ll meet again. It may be on the pages of Vernon’s books or it may be in some other way but we will meet again.”
As Gaspar’s voice faded away the panic and fear was replaced by a warm feeling of security and wonder. I felt an overwhelming urge to sleep...in peace.
A sound, far off intruded incessantly keeping me from the sleep I now craved. A damn phone. In a semi-comatose state I reached out and retrieved the phone that sat beside my bed only half conscious of where I was.
“Hello.”
“Paige?”
“Hello? Who is this.”
“It’s Vernon, Paige, are you asleep? You were supposed to be at my house at noon for our interview. What, did you drink too much crummy Beaujolais last night?”
I sat straight up and looked around the room. My room. I mumbled something into the phone, something that drew a laugh and a question from my friend. But it was what was lying on the night stand that held my attention.
A golden medallion, attached to a long gold chain of heavy links, was propped up, leaning on the bedside lamp. It was shaped like a star and in the center of the medallion was a red Templar cross ringed by words, SIGILLVM TEMPLI XPESTI. And beside the medallion was a sheet of paper. I reached out and lifted it. It was heavy, luxurious, like no other paper I’d ever felt. Written in a beautiful cursive script was a short sentence, “To, Paige. With love and affection. G. de Rouse.
“Paige? Paige? Are you there?”






The Arimathean, the follow up to Slow Boat To Purgatory is set for release in early summer 2012. Look for it on Amazon. You can keep track of Vernon and his writing at Vernon J Baker.

Interview with Vernon Baker, here


Apr 5, 2012

The Halfling




Jack crossed the cellar and grabbed a Lacrosse stick. He came back, and gently prodded the prone form.
The man swiped a hand where Jack had poked him, but didn't wake. Jack prodded him again, a bit harder. This time he sputtered, and woke up. 
He didn't appear pleased. Eleanor moved Flora farther back.
“I say! No need to wake a fellow. Best be a fire, mate,” he said, and pulled himself to an upright position.  Shaggy, uneven bangs fell in his eyes. 
He fumbled around in the sofa until he found a cap, which he promptly stuffed on his head. “Not proper, catching a man undressed and all,” he muttered, keeping his hand on his hat defiantly.  He pulled a flask from the waistband of his grubby pants and took a long haul. A bit dribbled down his chin, which he wiped away with the back of his hand and scowled. “Who’re you?”
“We live here. I think the better question is, who are you?” Jack leaned on the lacrosse stick. 
The odd fellow looked around the cellar. “Here? Funny we ain’t never met afore. Well, you git yer own sofa. This here’s mine.”
Jack rolled his eyes. “Not here, here.” He pointed up to the house above them. “Up there. This is our house.”
“Ahhh. Well, good ‘nuff. Plenty room fer us all.” The small man made to lie back down.
“Wait! You can’t stay here,” Rob said.
“Don’t see why not. I was here first, right?”
“But we live here,” Rob said.
“Greedy one, ain’t ya? W’all, I ain’t leaving,” the small man said, crossing his arms over his chest. 
Jack tried a different tact. “How long have you been here?”
The scruffy little man frowned and thought for a moment. “Oh, must be nigh on 30 years, now. The little lady gave me the boot, good and proper, right? Been here ever since.”
 “But our parents aren’t aware,” Eleanor pointed out.
“Oh, that ain’t no problem. Humans can’t see us halflings unless they have the knowledge, right? Don’t you worry none. They won’t bother me a bit.”
Jack snorted. Eleanor and Rob exchanged glances. The problem wasn’t their parents bothering this being.
“What's your name? And what are you, anyway?” asked Jack.
“My name is Ralph, right? I’m a GOBLIN. Not to be confused with them uppity Hobs. I tend the gardens ‘round here.” His eyes narrowed. “Who wants to know?”
“I’m Rob, and these are my sisters Eleanor and Flora, and my brother Jack,” Rob said.
“You stay outa my gardens, and off’n my sofa, an' we’ll git on jes fine,” Ralph said. “Now, if you’ll ‘scuse me, I was havin' my nap.” He lay down, and rolled his back to them. The pointed toe of his worn shoe caught a hole in the cushion, and he thrashed for a moment before he freed it. A few pieces of batting wafted into the air. 








Art by Jean-Baptiste Monge 
(we're big fans)


The Keeper and the Rune Stone 
is #Free!  4.7 stars

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"something wicked is going to happen.." EAD
"Hell, yes" KZF
"cracking tale of mystery and adventure" JBW
"Basically, I loved this" MF


Mar 28, 2012

Tim Sample couldn't have made this up ..


*Note to Reader - click on ad to see small print properly

Maine Department of Transportation ad poking fun at Islesboro mistakenly published in BDN


BDN

Posted March 28, 2012, at 1:40 p.m.
Last modified March 28, 2012, at 6:06 p.m.
AUGUSTA, Maine — A “spoof draft” of a public notice advertisement from the Maine Department of Transportation that was never supposed to be seen by the general public was mistakenly published Wednesday in the Bangor Daily News.

Contained in the text of the ad were comments that poked fun at island residents. The two-column, 5-inch ad was on Page A2 of Wednesday’s paper and advertised a public meeting in the town of Islesboro to discuss the DOT’s planned replacement of Mill Bridge.

“We really don’t care about the bridge. We are just curious about these island folk,” the ad read. “Anyone who happens by is invited to disrupt the meeting.

“Candid photos will be sneakily taken of awkward persons for our entertainment. Life jackets and coffee brandy will be provided upon advance request.”

DOT Commissioner David Bernhardt sent a letter of apology on Wednesday to the residents of Islesboro.
“This was an obvious spoof draft that was somehow emailed and published in the paper,” he wrote. “This behavior is unacceptable and in no way reflects the values of the department or the seriousness and care in which the department treats its public input processes.

“We have the utmost respect for the citizens of Islesboro, its elected officials and its management. On behalf of MaineDOT, I sincerely apologize for this mistake. Appropriate measures are being taken to ensure that this does not happen again.”

Asked whether the responsible employee was fired, DOT sSpokesman Ted Talbot said he could not discuss personnel matters.

The letter from Bernhardt was sent to Islesboro interim Town Manager Janet Anderson on Wednesday. Anderson said Wednesday that she had seen the ad but did not want to comment.

The BDN newsroom referred questions to the advertising department, which exclusively handles advertisements.

BDN interim advertising director Steve Martin apologized for the error and said he has reminded staff to always review ads carefully before being published.

“The ad actually was sent to us twice, with the original proofread by staff,” Martin said in a statement. “Due to technical issues, the first version could not be processed properly, so the advertiser was asked to resend the ad, which was then processed.

“The problem was that we treated the second submission as a duplicate of the already proofed ad, which it clearly wasn’t. This event reinforces the need to be ever vigilant in our efforts.”
Talbot confirmed that is what transpired.

Mar 20, 2012

RedTail and the Copy Key

Today is the first day of Spring, and my daughter Frances' 14th birthday.
She wrote this story a couple of years ago. It is one of my favorites.
  Happy Birthday, Beautiful Girl! 


RedTail and the Copy Key
This story is dedicated to Walter and Alice Bower
  Thank you, Aunt Alice and Uncle Walter, for my beautiful keys, and for feeding RedTail and his friends.
Love,  Frances    


     RedTail traced his paw over the object. It was quite small, and heavy, but it had a pretty shape.  
     Nice key, he thought. 
     He wrapped the key in his fuzzy tail so the other squirrels couldn’t see he had it, and ran to the bushes for cover. But RedTail didn’t stop when he reached the bushes, he ran right through the forest to the other side, coming out onto a beach. RedTail ran to a rock wall and disappeared into a hole. 
Feeling more secure in his own home, RedTail removed the key from his tail and took it to the kitchen where he made himself some acorn tea and ate a slice of pumpkin bread.
    I got the key, I am the best squirrel in the whole forest! he snickered, I am the one who stole the copy key! RedTail was so pleased with himself. 
    He took a moment to study it. The top looked like a flower, but on a key ring with the top hole punched out, it looked like a heart. The key wasn’t very long and on the end was just a small piece of steel with a empty square space on the bottom. A beautiful key.
    On the other side of Islesboro was a bird feeder, a squirrel-proof one.  In that feeder was every seed known to squirrel. The lady who fed the birds had a key that she wore on a chain around her neck to open and restock the feeder, but she also kept a copy key in the barn where she kept the bags of seeds she filled her feeders with.
     All the squirrels on Islesboro had been trying to get the copy key, and with winter coming on, the search had become even more frantic. 
     But RedTail had been watching the barn cat, Jinx, for days, and when he wasn’t by his food dish, RedTail would sneak in and put herbs in it. Then, when the cat came to eat, he ate the herbs and threw up. RedTail had been doing this for days and eventually the owner had to take Jinx to the vet, so RedTail snuck in and took the took the key.
     RedTail went into his study and came back out with a map of the island. He traced his paw over the map trying to find the quickest way to the feeder, but he needed good cover, because if the other squirrels knew he had the key, they would try to steal it from him!
     Someone was knocking on the rock door. 
     “I’m coming!” RedTail called. 
     He scurried over to the door to see his friend Amber.
  “May I come in?”
  “Of course!” RedTail led her into the living room, disappeared into the kitchen, and came back a minute later with some fresh acorns.
     “What happened to you?” RedTail got a good look at Amber, and could see that she had bruises, cuts, scraps, and claw marks.
     “Birds, that’s what!” she growled stuffing her cheeks with acorns, “I was trying to get the key, and I came so close, but these birds swooped down and attacked me!”
     “Are you okay?”
     “I will be once I tell you what I came for, I have a battle plan to get the spare key!”
  “Er… I don’t think that it will be necessary.”
  “Why?” she said, sounding hurt.
  “I have the key.”
  Amber couldn’t take her eyes away from the key.
  “But how?” she asked reaching her paw out to touch it. “How did you manage to get it?”
  “That doesn’t matter, what matters is how to get to the feeder unnoticed.”
     Amber thought for a moment, then said, "I have a plan, but you’re not going to like it.”
  And it was true, he didn’t like it.  Not one bit.
  “On and off as quickly as possible!” RedTail demanded. The crisp night air of fall was making the two squirrels shiver as the drew near the beach.
  “Trust me, I won’t make this last any longer than it has to!” she said through chattering teeth. 
RedTail and Amber went to the waters edge and jumped in. The icy water felt like nettles, and was so cold it felt like it was pulling them down.
  “W-w-which way?” RedTail asked, his teeth chattering.
  “The b-b-boat Better in Butter, straight a-a-ahead,” she said pointing to a lobster boat in front of them, “I’ve b-b-been watching this b-b-boat, it leaves at night a-and fishes o-o-on the side of the island w-w-where the feeder is.”
  “People don’t fish for lobsters at night,” RedTail pointed out.
  “No, he takes his kids mackerel fishing.” Amber explained.  
     RedTail nodded, no rival squirrel will find us getting there on that, he thought, too tired and cold to speak, then swam over to the stern. They heaved themselves into the boat, climbing up the motor, then hid. The captain got on a few minutes later. RedTail tightened his grip on the key, checking to make sure it was still there, he couldn’t tell with his numb paws. It seemed like a good plan, until the boat actually started.
       RedTail had never gone so fast! His cheeks were flying behind him like he saw dogs do when they stuck their heads out car doors. The boat was racing across the water, and he could see that Amber was starting to regret her idea. While the captain wasn’t paying attention, RedTail and Amber stole a glance over the edge. The salty sea spay was getting in their faces and clinging to their whiskers, while the waves kept coming over the edge trying to push them down. It even looked like Amber was getting a little green.   Serves her right! RedTail scowled. She made us get on this thing. 
     RedTail and Amber slid back down into their hiding spots, waiting for their ride to end.
     It seemed like forever before the boat began to slow down, and as soon as Amber thought that land was close enough, she grabbed RedTail’s paw and dragged him overboard. 
     “At least I’m finding swimming easier,” Amber mumbled.
     “That’s because you’re covered in fish scales!”
     “GROSS!” Amber wailed, then they laughed. 
     The two squirrels thrashed their way back to shore then began to dry off.
     “Hey, it cut twenty minutes off our travel,” Amber said, trying to convince RedTail her idea wasn’t all bad.
     “And we got here unseen,” RedTail agreed, “but once this is over and we have our winter stash, lets just walk home.” 
     Amber nodded and the squirrels climbed their way up to the feeder.
     “Do you have the key?” Amber whispered. 
     RedTail twitched his whiskers, amused she thought he would get on that boat and actually forget the key. 
Ignoring her, he made his way up the feeder pole and silently slid the key in the lock. 
clink. 
     The top of the feeder flew open as soon as he twisted the key in the lock.
     “Here it comes,” he whispered down to Amber, then dumped the seed to the ground, emptying the whole feeder. 
     Working quickly, the squirrels buried all the seed.  They buried them under bushes, trees, rocks, and even buried them out in the open. They buried the seeds every where the could think of, until the big pile in the middle had become nothing more then single scattered seeds laying around. The squirrels had completed their winters stash.
  “I think we’re done here,” Amber smiled. 
  RedTail smiled too. He could always come back when it was restocked, and he wouldn’t have to ride the boat, because now that he had his winter stash, keeping the key a secret wasn’t as important. He shook some more water from his fur, and looked back once more at the empty feeder. Winding his tail around the key the two squirrels turned around and began their journey home. On paw.