He wasn't the first, you know. Like the travel section feature on a new watering hole, he screwed it up for those of us already here. No. There is no valet parking. No. There's no drink special. Or Aztec gold. Or Fountain of Youth.
Indies? Yeah, take a left at the second atoll.
He wasn't so easily misdirected.
We even tried the "I think I hear Ferdinand calling you" bit. Didn't work.
He was on a mission. He had the funding. His sales pitch was strong. That the Earth was round was heady stuff to Isabella. A variation on we have trouble in River City. Well, good for you. If this doesn't work out you might consider a career in telemarketing.
So Columbus made several trips to the new world in search of land and riches.
But the girls all got prettier at closing time - or someone did. Modern epidemiological evidence indicates Columbus' men took syphilis home with them, later resulting in the deaths of five million across Europe.
Gives new meaning to Last Call.